Do you feel disconnected from expressing yourself because of your up-bringing in a monogamy based culture?
Do you ever wonder if you were not bound to certain conditionings, you would feel more freedom to be yourself, to be seen?
I hear from people I work with all the time, saying:
"I am just so happy being alone right now, is there something wrong with me?"
"I love my partner, but I still have to desire to know other men/women, is there something wrong with me?"
In our upbringing in Western Culture, we don’t tend to be taught about the different relationships types in our sex education. We’re taught, often by example,
which in most families,
and in mainstream media
We SEE that we are ‘supposed’ to have one partner and that’s the way it is.
What if this isn’t the way it is for YOU though?
If it’s not in alignment with your Truth, then you’re going to feel bound, constricted, stuck--
likely with deep levels of shame, guilt, judgment and a deep load of repressed feelings and beliefs.
Keeping these emotions and beliefs buried within will lead to toxic energy stores in your body, and YES, could eventually lead to physical manifestation of this guilt and shame.
You may begin suffering from chronic menstrual pain, fibroids, cysts, growths and other serious disorders and dis-ease.
The reason I love teaching about the different relationship types is because it is so liberating.
Just the sheer understanding that there is more than one type of relationship is so freeing, and teaching it from the perspective that all SIX of the relationships are ALL normal—all equal.
How would it feel to be free to be yourself, and not condemned or rejected or repressed from your core nature?
Knowing these different relationship types also opens space to have deeply meaningful conversations with your partner, where you both may be liberated to know yourselves on a whole new level.
When we can learn about something we didn’t know prior, we expand our world. When we learn about something that is linked to a current distortion we hold (where we’re holding shame and discomfort, because we didn’t have a conscious awareness), we invite the space to heal, to understand ourselves more deeply, and from here we can align with our nature more deeply, and step into joy, gratitude, compassion.
And you become more liberated in understanding a new level of your truth.
And that’s beautiful.
Relationship Type #1 - Monogamy
Finding ONE PERSON who will meet ALL of your changing needs: emotional, intellectual, sexual, ALL!!! This is the most challenging, but also incredibly gratifying
The strength of this relationship is that you build an incredible level of Trust and find the relationship deeply fulfilling.
The problem that can arise, is that people can feel a sense of failure if they do not successfully find their compatible partner.
Relationship Type #2 - Committed-Open
This relationship type is actually structured within the Monogamous framework, except that a couple may decide to share their relationship (in clearly defined ways) in limited ways, at certain times, with certain people.
The benefits of this type of relationship is that it can bring a lot of success as the primary relationship is firmly established. There tends to be very powerful communication within the relationship, and honesty around each other's needs and desires.
"We choose one form of relationship over another depending on how our spirit needs to evolve."
Relationship Type #3 - Triadic
This is when a couple chooses to be intimate with another person; a couple will generally invite another Male of Female into their relationship. This requires more energy than all the other relationship options, and can involve a lot of emotions. This leaves the relationship type as very intense and very challenging. With more people involved, you can understand that it would require even more communication.
The benefits of this relationship can provide sexual variety, more connection to intimate connections, and can offer additional economic support with more providers within the household/relationship.
The other benefit is that for those people who desire their own space, they are able to take space, without the other person feeling like they lose the level of intimacy that they desire.
Relationship Type #4 - Open-Paired
This relationship type is when two or more couples decide to share resources. This relationship option tends to go beyond just sexual desire. Within this structure, the couples are able to see the advantage of their needs and desires met, with multiple people there for them. It's also supportive in the sense that there is additional support for raising children, as well as more support (financially and emotionally) to actualize businesses or careers.
To sustain a healthy environment for these lasting relationships, it requires established agreements, especially for everyone to successfully succeed their visions and dreams.
Relationship Type #5 - Celibate
Choosing this relationship type is when one chooses to abstain from sex. This choice is often made because a person desires to celebrate their own sexuality, they desire to explore their own Being. There are such depths of coming to know our own desires, pleasures and needs. We are our own best lover first! Taking this time to explore our sexual self allows for the fostering of deep levels of creativity, and can expand your own dreams, visions and passion for life!
This tends to be a very freeing, and revitalizing time for people who choose this experience.
However, if celibacy is not chosen by a person, ti can be a very depressing time for a person. It's rarely chosen consciously, and to be in this phase for too long can leave a person feeling disillusioned and disconnected from their vital energy (sex is a practice for our health!).
After this phase, a personal will tend to move into their next relationship with greater wisdom and knowing for what they desire next in their life path!
Relationship Type #6 - Free Dancing
This relationship type is what we commonly know as “dating”. This is sometimes a phase where someone is just looking to spend time with someone, where they may be questioning whether they desire to have sex with them. Or it may be a person who desires a variety of partners, where they can be free to explore different relationships without having to commit.
Free dancers may choose to have multiple longer lasting relationships through their life, or just free dance through their life. Often you will see people move into a Free Dancing phase in life after leaving unhappy marriages.
This tends to be more common within our culture now that there is less stigma around separation and divorce. Also, with the capacity to make so many connections online, we see a lot of Free Dancing with the number of Internet Dating sites. People who choose to remain single also find the time very adventurous.
It presents a great opportunity for people to really be in the present and align with clearer intentions for their life, and can experience a great depth of personal growth, as people are able to learn so much about their own personal truth and the liberation that comes with it.
Although, again, like celibacy or monogamy, it can also present as a time of great loneliness for someone if it is NOT a chosen relationship type.
Relationships Provide Us Profound Opportunities & Experiences
Relationships are the portal into MANY different opportunities and experiences through our life. Through relationships we are able to grow and evolve during our time in this human experience! When in healthy alignment with the right relationship type, they support us to know who we truly are. When we can find ourselves free from restriction, fear and judgment and open to aligning with our truth, we can be free to listen to our intuition, and choose to align with our innate needs. We choose one form of relationship over another depending on how our spirit needs to evolve.
This should be our greatest focus, to live in alignment with our spirits calling, so that we can evolve to our greatest potential, for our greatest good, in love and compassion.
If you desire to explore this more in depth, explore my program Sex Ed 101: The Sex Ed We Never Had.
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